Jul 30, 2009 1:00 PM CST

When is it Time to Find Placement for a Loved One?

By: Lynn Mortimer, Gulf Breeze Courtyard Assisted Living Facility

Having worked in this field for 18 years, I have learned the recurring traits of the family member looking for placement. It is usually a caregiver in a crisis situation. “Mom is in the hospital and they are discharging her today.” Prior, there have been many warnings. Spouses and family members tell the loved one that they will never “put them in a home” and are trying to keep the promise that they made. This is usually at the expense of the caregiver themselves either through declining health or sheer mental exhaustion.

If you answer yes to most of these questions, start looking for placement:

ŸHas your health declined as a result of caring for your loved one?

ŸIs there more one on one attention than you can keep up with?

ŸHas your loved one ever left the stove on or water running?

ŸHas your loved one ever wandered from home and gotten lost?

ŸHave there been repeated trips to the hospital?

ŸDo you ever lose your cool with your loved one?

ŸAre you spending more money than it would take in long term placement?

ŸIs your loved one refusing to eat, bathe, or any other activities of daily living(ADL’s)?

Having been a caregiver myself in the early 80’s, I am well aware of the promises made verses what is right for the individual in need. Sometimes you have to step back and look honestly at the quality of life that the loved one is receiving and if you cannot deliver all that is needed and you are at your wits end on what to do next, you owe it to yourself to become educated on long term care options. For my grandmother, the social aspects worked wonders. The whole time I was trying to care for her, it never occurred to me that her non-compliance to diet and hygiene would all change once she was around others in a structured environment. Be careful not to isolate your loved one while trying to do all that is required of you. It is easy to do.

If you answer no to most of these questions, start looking for placement:

ŸIs the environment stress free, allowing less agitation?

ŸIs my loved one getting the proper socialization? ie: church groups, outings, social interaction?

ŸAre you keeping up with your daily duties with spouse, kids and career while meeting the needs of your loved one?

ŸAre you able to physically lift your loved one while toileting or bathing them?

ŸDo you have time set aside each day for exercise and fun together?

ŸDo you set aside time each day for yourself?

ŸDo you supply programs that give them choices?

ŸDo you know the skills of redirecting frustrations during an agitation episode?

ŸIs my loved one compliant with medications and diets?

ŸAre you able to keep them busy all day, allowing better eating and sleeping patterns?

ŸDo you feel your loved one has a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day? Ie: a feeling of still being needed?

Many residents that come into my campus have been at home watching TV most of the day, causing them to eat poorly and sleep sporadically all day which keeps them from sleeping at night. There should be plenty of exercise even if they are in a wheelchair. Stretching and proper breathing throughout the day is very beneficial and a structured environment is less stress on your loved one. Once in a routine, they tend to follow it. §

Lynn Mortimer is the Marketing and Admissions Director at Gulf Breeze Courtyard Assisted Living

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